Well, there are some days I just have a lot to say and feel spunky enough to get it all out there for you (I think it’s also the lack of brain fog I feel I am dealing with when I drink loads of aspartame).
I am finally nearing the end of home schooling for the year. Spike that ball in the end zone! wobble those knees! Oh yeah! Oh Yeah! Wave to the kid in the wheelchair. Next year, all kids will be back in public school, which will give me more time for things I take for granted during the day. things like peace and quiet.
Not that I mind home schooling. I love to be around my family. They’re the coolest people I know. Aside from being the only people I know, we share the same psychoses, love of Red Dwarf and and laugh when the dog breaks wind. We’re mature that way.
Atkins in the House
I began Atkins last Monday, after having gained 6 pounds in water weight. I know (omigosh!). So, not only was I stalled out for April, but somewhere a thigh was hanging onto 6 pounds of excess water. Insult to injury over here, and I’ll bet that’s who was stealing my tea when I wasn’t looking. O wily thigh, how you mock me!
At any rate (about 25 hunt-and-pecked WPM), I began Atkins induction last week.
Last Monday (April 28) I began again at 295 pounds after the month-long-drought.
This morning (May 5) I weigh … are you seriously ready for this… 279 pounds.
(For the other English Majors out there, that’s 16 pounds. In one week.)
Now, 16 pounds in 7 days might not be big beans, especially when 6 of those were regained water weight pounds. Still, subtract that 6, and I lost 10 pounds. In one week.
So get this: the news is exciting. I’m jazzed. I’m ready to schmootz. And then I remember I weigh in at TOPS today. The last weigh-in I was stuck at 295. How in God’s blue blazes am I going to explain 16 pounds?!
Then I figured out I won’t have to. In that cleverness of a brain canyon up there residing in my head, I have a cunning plan:
I’m going to put on my wool socks, a lead jacket and some brick underpants and waddle out of the door like there’s a merchant marine vessel in my drawers.