Go ahead. Hug the planet.
1. Eat all of the food in your refrigerator. Unplug.
2. Turn off the tv. It’s all going to be Earth Day biased, save for Maury. He’ll be hosting a beauty pageant episode comprised of ex-nuns and men.
3. Stop bathing. It wastes water.
4. Reuse toilet paper. (Thanks to Cheryl Crow for that tip, and, incidentally, probably number 3 as well.)
5. Stop driving to work. Just let your corporation’s CEO know that you’re saving the planet by staying home. He’ll understand.
So go ahead. Hug the planet close. If you’re not sure who the daddy is afterwards, Maury will order the paternity test live on national tv.