|Get out of my dreams. Crawl into my mouth. credit|
Instead of, “The bride was wearing a Donna Versace gown with embroidered beading and a tulle train festooned with delicate floral accents,” expect, “The groom lovingly sliced into the perfectly aged Cabot sharp, with a rich, tangy texture and a delicately silky appearance.”
This Wisconsinite’s unicorn sprinkles dream hails from England’s The Cheese Shed and weighs in at a buffetlicious 20 pounds, perfect for 90-100 people, and includes two, black waxed cheeses (Snowdonia Cheese Company’s ‘Black Bomber’ and Curworthy) and white layers of German blue brie, Caerphilly, Camambert and Gevrik.
Forget the wedding. Screw the reception line. I’ll be the one who volunteered to stay behind at the restaurant during the wedding to guard the holy Swiss cheese grail of all cakes. With mah spoon! And my tongue. And this flax cracker.