Macho Nacho Salad

I’m in haiku heaven with a simple dish that’s so amazing,

I used to pay twelve
dollars to order one in
a restaurant. Wow.

Now, thanks to your broiler and a little ingenuity, you can enjoy your own cheesy-on-top, crispy-lettuce-below meal-sized salad filled with winning. No more wimpy lettuce leaves sobbing over drunk bits of turgic tomato, my friends. I’ve referred to this dish before as chipless nachos, but it’s really an amazing, change of attitude for the salad. It’s become… sexy.

You’ll need an oven-proof plate for broiling (I found a cheap one at a thrift store), but many of the solid, standard plates can withstand broiler-temperature heat for 3 minutes. My plate is oblong, so it makes a larger serving–as such, yours will vary. Feel free to send me your pictures and variations and I’ll share your creativity!

Also, use your own ingredients you have on hand. Mine are serving suggestions, but whatever you love, be sure to add it for a different experience every time.

Low Carb Macho Nacho Salad

Before we begin, you’ll notice in many restaurants, when you order nachos, there’s an empty circle of just plate in the center for placing the condiment cups for table service. I do this, too. It just looks naughty. So, as you layer your tray, be sure to leave a circle about the diameter of your condiment cups (non-melting since the plate will be hot) in the center if you plan to serve your plate with the little bowls o condimenty bliss (plus, psychologically, it makes the plate of food look taller).

Layer accordingly:
Bottom:
2 cups cold, shredded iceberg lettuce
Consider: shredded cabbage slaw

+ Cooked meat over lettuce
1/2 cup chopped corned beef
1/2 cup chopped ham
1/2 cup spicy hamburger meat
Consider: pepperoni, chicken, andouille, italian sausage, linguica

+ Cheese over meat

1/4 cup mozzarella cheese
1/4 Tbsp cheddar cheese, shredded
Consider: bleu cheese, sharp cheddar, feta

+ Veggies over cheese
1/2 cup chopped, fresh tomatoes
1/4 cup chopped yellow onion
8 jalapeno slices
8 sliced black olives
Consider: green olives, green pepper, banana peppers, green onions, toasted garlic

You’ll place the platter under broil on high for 3 minutes, or until cheese begins to bubble.

Note: These three broiler minutes are not the time to make a quick phone call or try to check what’s happening on Bravo television. This is not the time to pluck chin hairs. This is not the time to look in the mirror and practice your pirate faces. You need to stick close to the oven and check, check, check every 20-30 seconds to make sure your cheese is melting, but not burning.

A few seconds is the difference between chewy, melty cheese, and CheeseMothra, the burned menace who flew too close to the flame and has now devoured your lunch.

Once your platter comes out of the oven, consider condiments:

Condiments are optional, but I like:
1/4 cup fresh salsa
1/4 cup fresh guacamole
1/4 cup full-fat sour cream

Serve the plate while hot (be sure to use a table protector and an oven mitt) and enjoy! Seriously, even with the cost of fresh, whole, healthy ingredients, it’s so cheap to make a huge $12 platter of chipless nacho salad. Why bother with the restaurant?

This dish is seriously everything, from the crisp crunch of lettuce to the gooey perfection of melted cheese on top. Pile your plate high and proud, baby!

What is the nutritional information? That depends on what you add, so it can vary according to your needs and diet. I’d estimate 6-8 net carbs for a huge plate of #Charlie Sheen winning (mostly from veg) plus a small amount of condiment.

Whatever you do, grab your fork, your mother, or your goldfish and sit own to a plate fit for restaurants. When you make it fresh, you make it best.

Keep it easy and keep it cheesy.

Fondly,
Jamie,
Your Lighter Side

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Comments

  1. Kimberley says:

    This looks delicious! Thanks!

  2. well nom nom nom! what a great recipe! :) thanks for posting it!

  3. wetzelwoman says:

    I made this today and yummmmmmy. It was so good that I can't wait to have it again. Only thing missing was a good salsa. thanks for the recipe:)

  4. YUM!

  5. I wonder if you could make "pizza" this way – with the lettuce base, I think it would be good too!

  6. What about the lettuce? Does it get soggy or wilted? I've never heard of putting lettuce in the oven. I'm a huge nacho freak so this would be a great meal for me. little skeptical about the lettuce though.

  7. Your Lighter Side says:

    I feel you on the skepticism, but iceberg won't get soggy or droopy.

    The flash broiling ensures only the top browns in a couple of minutes. The lettuce is perfection~!

    I've had this literally dozens of times now, and each time the lettuce is perfect! Now, for Romaine, it isn't crispy to begin with…

  8. do you broil the lettuce first? or how does it become crunchy under all that stuff?

  9. Andrina says:

    How many carbs?

  10. Wow!!!! is all I can say. This was simply the best thing I’ve had in a long time. My husband and I are on low carb diets, so it’s perfect. Thanks for sharing this. Well worth the time and effort! [ AND NO THE LETTUCE ISN’T SOGGY ]

  11. how many carbs

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