I. CAN. FLY!

That my friends is all of the caffeinated products I have consumed so far this morning in the effort to bring you low-carb caffeinated goodness I've had over 60 ounces so far of caffeinated products but it's maybe more like over 80 because I forgot … [Read more...]

Talk Like a Pirate Day! Arrrr! Contest for ye landlubbers!

Source Ahoy, ye low-carb land lubbers! Today be Talk Like a Pirate Day! Check my recipes page for Dill Pickle Planks! Pirate Speak Translator Caption Contest In yer best Pirate Speak, caption the picture above. The best, wittiest, … [Read more...]

Our Official Low-Carb Mascot– meet Maynard

Maynard wants a smooch. He's a low-carber, too, you know. Venus fly traps are plants which thrive on the proteins of living insects like flies and ants. They do not fare well with hamburger, jerky or even low-carb cauliflower pizza. (I know. … [Read more...]

So I fell in this hole…

Hunky hubby found me in the field an hour ago near the house. I was able to avoid the first hole, but I heard two snaps and then I landed on my back. I sprained both ankles pretty badly.Needless to say, Ow, ow ow ow and wow that smarts. I am thankful … [Read more...]

Want to see my racks?

You sickos! What did you think I meant? This just goes to show that I shouldn't send out these blog entries in full form in emails. You guys would think I'd totally gone off my nut. What a lark that would be! Friends have asked to see my … [Read more...]

Paging Jan J!! and other stuff…

When good mail clerks go bad Jan. Guess what! That cook book I sent to you is somewhere in the small intestines of Augusta, Georgia. It's never a good sign when the USPS sends an envelope containing the empty envelope I sent a week before with … [Read more...]

Monday! Woohoo!

I'm down 5 pounds. Sorry. Couldn't wait to tell you that news. I started exercising again and am feeling better. I have a lot of anxiety right now, so walking at night while watching tv keeps me more sane. I am going to take a few days and try to … [Read more...]

Friday! O Friday O Yeah Yeah Yeah!

Boom boom chicka boom boomchicka wacka chicka wacka boom boomDid you actually try to read that or visualize that in any way with rhythm? If so, you're a mess and I adore you. I do. You know it's difficult to make bad porn background tracks come so … [Read more...]

Eeek! Oh Wait. Nevermind. EEEK! Oh wait. Nevermind.

I don't know if it's me getting old, or the fact that I'm horoscopically blonde (in other words, I'm a doopy doo), but I keep thinking there is a huge bird dive bombing outside of my window. It is only a kite.Still, every two minutes or so I am like … [Read more...]

Monday Post Ho-in'

Well, there are some days I just have a lot to say and feel spunky enough to get it all out there for you (I think it's also the lack of brain fog I feel I am dealing with when I drink loads of aspartame).I am finally nearing the end of home … [Read more...]

State Standardized Tests. I give them an "F". Along with drivers.

I have been busy running back and forth between Denver yesterday. Better news? I'll be at it for the next three days. Oh the joy. Three more days of making faces at people who try to drive with their ear crooked to their necks, trying to hold their … [Read more...]

Friday, oh Heck Yes!

I like Fridays more than I used to. I've never been a fan of weekends. The measured chaos of the week turns to stage five, brown-level crazy come Saturday. I'm feeling more glad now that a Colorado winter is turning into a Wisconsin spring. I can get … [Read more...]

S'now Joke

TOPS.... Probably not a goThey generally cancel TOPS on snowy days due to ice slippage of various people. You don't want to go into the parking lot and see chubby folks making snow angels against their will.On to the next goalI may or may not have … [Read more...]

I hate Daylight Smavings

What an awful idea it is to tell folks who wake up at 6 am to wake up at 5 am. I feel like I've been hit with a Little Debbie Snack Cake truck and didn't even get to eat any of the wreckage.My kids are zombies, and my hair smacked me upside the head … [Read more...]

Chicken Soup for the Butt, Beans and Body fat

Sometimes, when I'm talking to people (the real ones, and not just when I do those voices into the mirror. Like Mr. Pirate. He's the coolest!) ideas begin to form, and ideas for books that should have been written come out of the woodwork.I was … [Read more...]