Friday, oh Heck Yes!

I like Fridays more than I used to. I’ve never been a fan of weekends. The measured chaos of the week turns to stage five, brown-level crazy come Saturday. I’m feeling more glad now that a Colorado winter is turning into a Wisconsin spring. I can get outside more and survey the damage to the blackberry bushes.

Last year my stupid dog ate the blackberries down to their nubs. Ate the whole ding danged shrub (they’re thornless). I nearly cried. Knowing that blackberry plants only put out fruit on year-old growth, it takes another year for any hope of emerging fruit to show itself. The irony? Dumb dog caused new and invigorated growth in the blackberries. Now they’re more prolific than ever. I have hope for blackberries this year. Pies, cheesecakes, yogurt, jams, you name it!

Growing my own low-glycemic fruits and vegetables not only can be pretty easy (when evil dogs don’t eat them) but they can be real money-savers as well. I use a zucchini per pizza crust. If I grow zucchini, I can shred the stuff and freeze it for pizzas later on. I also want to give a shot this year to spaghetti squash, pumpkins, and blueberries. We also grow cherries and heirloom/antique apples. I’m not a great gardener, but strawberries tend to take care of themselves when stupid, devil, idiot dogs don’t eat them.

Like she tried to the new bicycle inner tubes this morning.

No Failure to Lunch…

Tomorrow I’m going to a mother’s lunch where we eat mother things and our grade schoolers eat grade schooler things. I jokingly asked if I could bring a cauliflower pizza and they were like, “YEAH! Do it!” One friend told me she reads my column weekly, and had seen the recipe and wants to try it (code: man, that looks like it has to taste like crap, so I’m not wasting ingredients).

They know me well by now, so they put up with me doing these kinds of things.

I might make a zucchini crust instead, since it is very mild, or I might make a hybrid– half-cauli and half zucchini. The pizza will be plain–just cheese and sauce– because I’m not going to try and hide the vegetables in the crust. I want to make a point that it’s not something one can even taste.

Gigantopants no more!

I’m retaining water due to those feminine things (shakes fist at Eve for eating that high sodium apple), but I’m wearing 2x yoga pants instead of 4X so this is me not complaining. I was going to put on a pair of 4X, but they’re really big, and heavy. I wanted some 3X yoga pants, but they’re downstairs in the laundry, and my kids screamed the last time I jiggled through the basement in my underthings to find a piece of clothing.

I almost fell over trying to put the size 2 pants on. They’re smaller and don’t just slip on like 4X pants do. If you’ve never been big, you take for granted a couple things: 1. that big pants take up big drawer space; and 2. big shirts take up big drawer space. I was extremely short on dresser these last few months due to the fact that my gigantopants took up about 1/3 of an entire drawer. Not only that, but they weigh a ton. I didn’t notice until now how much fabric is needed for bigger clothes. I’m going to get rid of the 4X clothes and start moving towards the 2X for the last time (I refuse to regain the weight ever again).

I told my husband, “When I hit goal, I don’t care what it takes. Sew my lips shut if you need to. I’ll eat through a hole in my neck.” I’m not sure how much I meant this, but the weight is coming off and staying off for the last time.

Sometimes I wonder if weight loss surgery shouldn’t really be offered as “Weight Maintenance Surgery”. In other words, you lose the weight, and then they band your stomach (or your mouth) to keep patients from regaining the weight. Doesn’t this make sense?

The dialog would go something like this:

Me: “Hello Doctor! I am here to tell you that I want you to band my stomach.”

Him: “But you weigh 130 pounds (author: shut up, people! I can dream.).”

Me: “But doesn’t it make sense to give someone a lap band to KEEP the weight off, rather than artificially creating a no-hunger environment in the beginning before good eating habits, exercise and weight loss have even kicked in?”

Him: “Well, “he would begin pensively, “we could sew your lips shut and put a hole in your neck….”

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  1. I seen where you mentioned about freezing shredded zuccini. I was wondering once you were ready to you it would you just let it set out and thaw? Would it be mushy or does it matter? Could you freeze the cauliflower after it is “riced”? These may be dumb questions but I wasn’t sure. Thanks ahead of time. You are hilarious.

  2. cleochatra says

    You can freeze both (I think you’d want to use raw cauliflower before freezing. I’d be worried that freezing cooked, shredded cauliflower might cause it to become mooshy).

    I would just be sure to squeeze out any water before use and after thawing.

  3. Sounds good. Thanks I will be going to get some zuccini’s today. I have tried the cauliflower and loved it. My husband and 20 month old son loved it too. Can’t wait to make this and the calzone. You are great.

  4. Yay to getting into smaller pants!
    I was so happy this month when i fit into pants that i couldn’t get over my hips in the fall.
    your gardening ideas are inspiring.
    i bet you can keep the weight off.
    just don’t give up.
    keep a pair of the 4X pants to show how far you’ve come for motivation.

  5. You have inspired me to try Atkins. I am currently using another diet that is working but the choices of food is really awesome on the Atkins. I love your recipes and am going to TRY to make oopsie rolls today. I will let you know how they turn out.

    Do you have induction recipes on your blog too??

  6. Jen Miller says

    Do you live in CO? I am in northern Denver 🙂

  7. Thats amazing! I know how much space the bigger clothes take up. I gave all of mine to my sister so I know if I gain weight I can’t afford new clothes so I’ll have to run around naked and no one wants that! lol

    Last time I went and bought new clothes they were so much smaller than what I used to wear that I was just amazed they fit because I still don’t see it to that extent. I still see the body that carried around 2 kids!

  8. Your blackberry-eating dog reminded me of the summer our dog ate all the cherry tomatoes off my mom’s plants. Over the next several months we started noticing new tomato plants springing up everywhere. The tomato seeds passed in his poop! Don’t be surprised if you start seeing rogue blackberry plants springing up in your yard. haha! =D


  9. We had little kids come steal our cherry tomatoes. I’ll bet their Moms couldn’t get them to eat one if they tried but stolen fruit is of course better!!
    Great post Cleo.

  10. Hummingbird says

    OMG ~ DITTO to what Mona wrote! Our dogs have their own tomato patch every year! LOL! And HEY! Dogs are NOT stupid ya big meanie!

    HB aka Dog Lover (to the extreme)

  11. OhYeahBabe says

    I’d have been so mad at the dog, too!

    You’re doing so great, Cleo.
    My blog: Kimorexia
    Check out Kimkins on Insider Exclusive!

  12. cleochatra says

    I am so glad to put away the bigger clothes (putting aside one pair for remembering as you suggested).

    This dog is so absolutely awful. But oh, she is so cute.

    If I could, I’d send her like a Flat Stanley to each of you. Then you can see that everything makes her pass gas and everything is her favorite new chew toy.

  13. cleochatra says

    Oh oh oh!


    1. Yes, I’m in the Denver area!

    2. A lot of these recipes are induction friendly! I will mark them so that folks will know which are all right! Linda Sue is very clever and uses an asterisks for each one.

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