"Well you told me to. I DID."

My doctor fell out of his chair today.

See, I went in to get my back looked at, and he told me that basically I need a physical therapist (YayfickenNOThoo). Apparently what I did wasn’t a pinched nerve. I did something to my lower back and he’s sure that if I don’t see a physical therapist, I’m going to continue to injure the area again and again.

I, being stubborn, told him I didn’t want a physical therapist. He leaned back in his chair, stretched out his arms and then folded them, and bemusedly put his pen to his lip. “Now why wouldn’t you want a physical therapist? It’s a personal trainer your insurance pays for. And it will help you strengthen your muscles.”

Not, that starts sounding better than the possibility that I could be an eventual invalid due to stretching the wrong way.

He looked down at his chart and almost fell out of his chair. “You’ve lost 75 pounds?! My Gosh! 75 pounds?! And your blood pressure is great! What the heck!”

I calmly said, “Well, when I saw you last year you said to me, ‘I don’t care how you do it. Lose weight.’ So I did.”

By now he was very animated. “That’s it? You just went and did it? Like that? Since January? My chart shows you’re closer to having lost 90 pounds since last year (Me: OMG I must have been huge!!!). And you just went and did it,” he said, rubbing his chin, smiling.

“You told me to.” I looked at him and tapped my knees, shrugging.

He leaned forward.

“Well, the next time I see you, I want to to fix the Middle Eastern crisis, and solve our energy shortage.”

He wrote me the prescription and handed it to me still muttering surprised, with eyebrows elevated, “because I told her to.”

Doctors aren’t used to patients doing what they tell us to do, apparently.

I took my prescription and began down the hall, when suddenly he called, “Hey! While you’re at it, stabilize the economy!”

Caprese Salad Tastes better as Burps

One of the major problems with going to the doctor and then to get a prescription was that I was hungry. I was starving. I wanted to lick the end caps of Chester Cheeto. Of course, since I am still losing weight, I opted for one of the deli Salads at Super Target. It is a caprese salad, comprised essentially of delicious tasting things which, when put together, is disgusting.

Grape tomatoes, mozzarella cheese and pesto. My God, man! What is sexier than those three things, save for Angelina Jolie or Johnny Depp running down the beach in their bathing suits? this was supposed to be the penultimate in salads. The presentation? Beautiful. The taste? Like someone got tidepools caught in their knickers.

Maybe I’m an uneducated swine when it comes to salads. It needed olives. And something more. Like, oh, I don’t know– non-silt run-off levee-tasting food items. I choked down half of the serving, and am going to play with the rest of it today.

I will not rest until this crap is edible!

On the up side, it smells awesome and tastes great as gas.

Weight Update:

And, despite what my doctor thinks I lost (he could be right. Who knows. That whole Doctor thing), I’m down some more weight. 74 pounds lost so far since January 1, and we’re not even through half of the year.

April and May were intense rough spots, so I’m excited that the active loss months have been that– as active as me running away from caprese salad displays.

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  1. You are AMAZING J! My BIL is an MD so I understand why your MD was so amused. And I bet you truly enjoyed amusing him in such a way.

    You are so encouraging to me, and if you could end the war in Iraq I’d appreciate it…Not to mention be more then amused…lol

    Well I’m no blogger, I can’t write to save my life, nor am I funny on paper (I’m only funny in my own mind). But I wanted a place to put all my findings, so I can find them again when I forget what I found…he he he

    So I put up a page, and I’m proud of myself. I titled it:

    Appetite For Truth

    It was my PT person who got me started on the right track, beautiful woman you want that!

  2. Low Carb Lady says

    Congrats on the loss. I wish I could get the scale to move in the right (left) direction.

  3. Chai Latté says

    Your doctor sounds adorable.

    And, whats wrong with seeing a physical therapist?

    And, that picture sure looks nasty, but in theory, sounds fabulous. But I agree, not as fabulous as Johnny Depp.

    Mmm. Depp.

  4. jenna... says

    Well done shrinking lady! I’m glad that being on your back didn’t add to your back-side. 😉

  5. You rock, woman! You are FANTABULOUSSS!

    Go for the PT. Really. It will help you for the rest of your life. Maybe longer.

  6. genevieve says

    This is an inspiration! I’ve come back to a LC plan after successfully losing 68 lbs on it a few years ago (and a total of about 12 pounds lost on other plans ever since), and am just finishing my 2nd week of induction. The scale, however, hasn’t moved in about a week…I’m disappointed and being sooooo good with my diet, and getting frustrated that it’s just not working.

    But your post makes me want to keep going.

    (Oh yeah, and the prospect of fried cheese curds and buffalo chicken fingers this week…seriously, girl, write a cookbook….you are a frickin’ godsend!)

  7. Anonymous says

    Gotta say, that pesto in the salad is nasty looking, reminiscent of the brack floating on the Tidal Basin here in DC.


  8. Mulat D'ore says

    I’m glad that YOU (the Cleo I admire and follow) are back!! I missed your wit and craziness. Welcome back, CONGRATS for the loose of weight, back health is essential to keep you moving!!!.


  9. woo hoo on the 74 fat pounds of you gone forever.

    Sorry bout your back, but I’m with the doc woo hoo on a personel trainer paid for by your insurance ( hey in my state obese folk get gym memberships too). You really need to check it out so you can keep doing your exercise part of your Atkins cause we both know if you aren’t exercising you aren’t doing Atkins and if Cleo aint aktinsing well the hsoowh fairy finds Cleo with all the pounds the whoosh fairy removed the night before.

    think I will pass on the salad though.

  10. lisa32989 says

    You made your doc sound funnier than he was, didn’t you???

    If you look back, you’ll see I TOLD YA SO (so fun to say!). PT saved my back! It was time-consuming going thru it but they taught me exercises to KEEP my back healthy so I don’t have to go thru the pain neverevernever again! And the exercises aren’t time consuming anymore.

    For me it was posture strengthening exercises (too much hunching over the computer and big chest pulling me forward 🙂

    I know it sounds like a Pain in the Patootie to go to PT & they’ll want you in there an excessive amt of times but IT WILL HELP and then you won’t have to do it again.

    And then you’ll feel good enough to figure out a tamale recipe for me (like how I slid that in there 🙂

  11. Well done on the weight loss! And I have to agree about the PT…I’ve neglected my knees of late and they are calling me some vicious names.

    Try adding a splash of balsamic vinegar to the caprese salad or make your own next time with the tomatoes and cheese and a dressing of the BV and some EVOO and fresh snipped basil, maybe some dried oregano…SIN on a PLATE! Yum!

  12. Beth the PT says

    I’m a PT 🙂 Obviously I’m biased as a result, but I certainly think PT can be extremely effective, and you may be far less likely to be dealing w/ back related issues in the future if you address this now.

    I disagree w/ your doc that a PT is a personal trainer your insurance pays for. Personal trainers don’t even need a college degree to be certified, and they aren’t always even certified in the first place. Some come from a college-educated background in exercise physiology or similar, but it isn’t a requirement.

    PT school is extremely rigorous. PTs need a *minimum* of a masters degree in physical therapy to sit for a licensing exam, and many schools are moving to a DPT (doctorate in physical therapy). PTs do cadaver dissection, extensive training in anatomy and physiology, neurophysiology and neuroanatomy, kinesiology, etc.

    Anyway, feel better!

  13. Anonymous says

    Your Doc forgot “Lower the price of gas!”


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