I know what you ate last movie: Night of the Living Dead

Hug a Zombie, but don’t lose your head.

They slurg through the house, looking for anything to eat. The dead look in their eyes, pants hanging down to their knees and speech impediments consisting of gutteral grunts and groans make it instantly unclear whether these are the undead stars of a film… or teenagers.
It’s a well-known fact that Zombies are the penultimate in low-carbing, feasting from the flesh of the living, and not giving a darn about processed foods (which they know aren’t all that good for them).
Eschewing potatoes and frowning at breads, zombies are so into the more hip ‘paleo’ plans than the standard Laura Ingalls Wilder fare of previous Americans. They also don’t want to lose vitamins and important nutrients that cooking ultimately tends to cost, electing to enjoy their meat and organs fresh and savoring the healthfulness of it. This new macrobiotic diet consists of slurping down human contents, and leaving only a recycle-friendly packaging behind–pretty ecologically savvy, if you ask me.
While it might be considered verboten to eat your last date, truly, there is something to be said for healthy, environmentally-friendly take-out food.
This Halloween, don’t forget your life-challenged friends, and when someone asks what happened to Uncle Benjamin, know that while his passing might mean he was someone’s main course, he is only a ‘has Be(e)n’ in terms of the language.

Could you survive a Zombie attack? Take this quiz to find out.
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