Redesign my Wiener!

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According to some crack-smoking pediatricians, hot dogs should be reshaped to keep kids from choking on the coolest shaped food ever. Just rip those hearts out of our chests.

Seriously? I mean really? If we changed the shape of the hot dog, we’d have unemployed hot dog bun makers. The Oscar Meyer Wienermobile would have to go to the big vehicle parking lot in the sky. Worst of all? There goes every phallic food innuendo comment ever.

I can’t live in a world like this, people.

Thankfully, the small group of people also are trying to ruin the lives of people who eat hard candy. There is some justice. The greatest part of the article was the call for greater choking hazard awareness. If more people practice safe snarfing of their pork and beef products, there will be less visits to the emergency room. So use condiments and live longer.

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