Meatless Monday's Merciless Muscling

Team Bacon

Meatless Monday. It’s the phenomenon spreading across the blogosphere like Kim Kardashian in spanx on the red carpet. And it’s now a global entity.

The goal of their site? “To reduce meat consumption by 15% in order to improve personal health and the health of our planet.” Um. All right. I mean yay!

More after the jump

Reading through the listed health benefits on the site, the anti saturated fat flying monkeys may have just awkwardly flown out of someone’s butt and jumped the shark in one fell swoop. You’ll learn that meat apparently also makes you fat and causes your colon to fall out, while, conversely, cutting meat consumption helps you stay on social security longer and keeps you from having a case of the cardiacs when you find out Dancing with the Stars is canceled.

Also, according to the site, meat creates greater water usage and expands your carbon footprint. I mean come on, right? We all know the Amazon rain forests of South America are disappearing due to the McRib and not at all because of the expansion of farming for soybeans (link) or ethanol production in countries like Brazil (link). Right? Right?

I’m borderline surprised they didn’t mention that cows produce too much methane through hobby farting, but I suspect there is secret shame on the part of those who eat too many beans to make up for the proteins they’re lacking (and create an even larger methane base).

Don’t get me wrong; I love a movement for the right reasons: recycle plastic sacks; drive less; repurpose furniture and clothing. I love my vegetarian friends: I give you my carrots, and you happily shovel your sausage links onto my plate.

But Meatless Monday is empty ideology trying to force itself on society to place guilt on those of us who choose to eat healthfully–and with the inclusion of meat. This is nothing more than a Hallmark, feel good commercial attempt to make money, alter people’s diets, and ignore science while raising the pompons for pork piousness and bovine bereftness.

For me, if there was foodie Day of the Week underwear, mine would be:

Bacon Monday
Bacon Tuesday
Bacon Wednesday
Bacon Thursday
Bacon Friday
Bacon Saturday
Bacon Bacon Sunday*

*Because if you like something enough you do it twice on Sundays

So how about this. Instead of Meatless Monday, why not Scientific Saturday– the day of the week when  studies come out to play. You can then follow this with Sullen Sulky Sunday, since issues like saturated fats discussion  go right out the window on Saturday and creates a case of the sads for the nutrition flat earthers who think we still live in the 80’s.

Follow those days with Mindful Monday, the day of the week when you eat whatever the heck you want to as a grown adult– because that’s your right.

And because this audience consists of people who eat healthy, whole foods, you already know that real solutions are created by people whose brains are functioning at full, healthy capacity thanks to omega 3’s, protein and saturated fat, all of which come from healthy, sustainable meat sources.

So raise your bacon and don’t harsh on my carbon footprint. My medical bills are less than yours due to my amazing health, which means I can afford to make my positive environmental change in meaningful, more quiet, ways.

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  1. It is quite idealistic considering sustainable farming of our meat is just that "SUSTAINABLE". When we have free roaming/ranging ruminant animals, we also have natural fertilization.

    Agriculture is one of the largest polluters and thieves of the land. River beds are poisoned with heavily sprayed GMO corn, and out topsoil is depleted thanks to Agriculture.

    I have decided to opt out on the meat free Monday. Rather, consuming humanely raised free range meat is my 7 day a week plan.

  2. The Matron of Meat strikes again. Great post. On their FAQ's they refer to the infamous FDA Guidelines three times. Someday, SomeHOW those 'guidelines' have to be fixed. They are only making people SICK! On to the point of my comment: "hobby farting" should seriously be an Olympic Event!

  3. I really enjoyed reading this post. I USED to eat a vegan diet and would gag at the thought of a Bacon day, but I was able to break free from my brainwashing and now see the light. Thank you!

  4. I love being a vegetarian 🙂 I haven't eaten meat for 13 years. I LOVE vegetables and tofu and nuts and cheese, but it's a free world and I don't knock people who choose to eat flesh. I will even cook it for my family and loved ones. Each to their own, huh peoples?

  5. I'm going to repeat much of what I said in the original thread about this. The site you linked to is not the be all end all authority on Meatless Monday. It's been around for a long time, and it's core principle is to promote awareness of what we put into our bodies. Have the people behind this specific site latched onto it to promote their biased POV? Unfortunately, yes.

    There's plenty of us LCers out there who practice Meatless Monday because it helps to keep healthy, pastured meats on our tables the other days of the week. I can't afford to eat grass-fed beef every day. Pastured chickens cost $20 per bird at my farmers market. If I'm going to include pastured meats in my overall WOE, then there's going to be days that I don't eat meat.

    It must be great to be privileged enough to not have to worry about food prices. Color me jealous.

  6. I'm not by any means privileged. I for go a lot of today's fun stuff and conveniences and my menu consequently is limited mostly to ground beef.

    My real point is, Meatless Monday is useless if we ignore the devastating effects of agriculture.

    ref: The Vegetarian Myth by Lierre Keith

  7. Jamie – you are my hero! I always say "happy animals make the most delicious food"

    Maybe if people stopped creating the baby army that is becoming the 2nd baby boom they would have more money to spend on happy delicious food.

  8. You must love the commercial for "Beggin Strips" dog treat where the dog goes ballistic over bacon–"If I had opposible thumbs, I'd get my own bacon! Bacon! Bacon! Bacon."

  9. Why not just have Fasting Friday and achieve the same result?

  10. The Typothecary says

    I generally love your posts, and agree with your comments on the low-fat health maniacs. And don't get me wrong, I adore bacon, too. But the astonishing cruelty that goes into meat production simply breaks my heart. I very rarely eat chicken out, and I'm incredibly lucky enough to be able to afford organic chicken and other meats at home. If I couldn't I'd probably become a vegetarian. (It IS possible, if rather boring, to be a low carb vegetarian – see the excellent Rose Elliot book.) So I don't think it's unreasonable to not eat meat for a day, if only for the sake of the poor animals and to raise awareness of their plight. Compassion in World Farming
    And by the way, most of the soybean production goes into animal feed.

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