Meatless Monday. It’s the phenomenon spreading across the blogosphere like Kim Kardashian in spanx on the red carpet. And it’s now a global entity.
The goal of their site? “To reduce meat consumption by 15% in order to improve personal health and the health of our planet.” Um. All right. I mean yay!
Reading through the listed health benefits on the site, the anti saturated fat flying monkeys may have just awkwardly flown out of someone’s butt and jumped the shark in one fell swoop. You’ll learn that meat apparently also makes you fat and causes your colon to fall out, while, conversely, cutting meat consumption helps you stay on social security longer and keeps you from having a case of the cardiacs when you find out Dancing with the Stars is canceled.
Also, according to the site, meat creates greater water usage and expands your carbon footprint. I mean come on, right? We all know the Amazon rain forests of South America are disappearing due to the McRib and not at all because of the expansion of farming for soybeans (link) or ethanol production in countries like Brazil (link). Right? Right?
I’m borderline surprised they didn’t mention that cows produce too much methane through hobby farting, but I suspect there is secret shame on the part of those who eat too many beans to make up for the proteins they’re lacking (and create an even larger methane base).
Don’t get me wrong; I love a movement for the right reasons: recycle plastic sacks; drive less; repurpose furniture and clothing. I love my vegetarian friends: I give you my carrots, and you happily shovel your sausage links onto my plate.
But Meatless Monday is empty ideology trying to force itself on society to place guilt on those of us who choose to eat healthfully–and with the inclusion of meat. This is nothing more than a Hallmark, feel good commercial attempt to make money, alter people’s diets, and ignore science while raising the pompons for pork piousness and bovine bereftness.
For me, if there was foodie Day of the Week underwear, mine would be:
Bacon Bacon Sunday*
*Because if you like something enough you do it twice on Sundays
So how about this. Instead of Meatless Monday, why not Scientific Saturday– the day of the week when studies come out to play. You can then follow this with Sullen Sulky Sunday, since issues like saturated fats discussion go right out the window on Saturday and creates a case of the sads for the nutrition flat earthers who think we still live in the 80’s.
Follow those days with Mindful Monday, the day of the week when you eat whatever the heck you want to as a grown adult– because that’s your right.
And because this audience consists of people who eat healthy, whole foods, you already know that real solutions are created by people whose brains are functioning at full, healthy capacity thanks to omega 3’s, protein and saturated fat, all of which come from healthy, sustainable meat sources.
So raise your bacon and don’t harsh on my carbon footprint. My medical bills are less than yours due to my amazing health, which means I can afford to make my positive environmental change in meaningful, more quiet, ways.