It does not make a difference if you’re married, single or divorced, Valentine’s Day’s emphasis on romance and the expectations it sparks can create more stress than joy for many people. There can be a lot of pressure on February 14th for anyone. It can give those that are “happily single” doubts. Married people might question the quality of their relationship on this day. What about someone that experienced a recent breakup, this holiday can bring up heartache. We should all, regardless of our relationship status, look at Valentine’s Day as an opportunity for personal growth.
• If you’re single … The holiday is not just for couples; it’s for anyone who wants to strengthen a relationship, including the one with yourself. This is, after all, the most important and truly lifelong relationship we all have. Being comfortable in your own skin and in silence and with your own thoughts is a sign of self acceptance and emotional maturity. So, what kind of date would you take you on?
Meditation can be like confronting yourself for the first time, mentally naked. Can you literally do nothing but keep quiet and still for five, 10 or 20 minutes? Maybe you want to take yourself on an adventure — consider spending a day or evening visiting places you’d never otherwise go. Or, you may simply cook yourself your favorite meal – or go out. Dinner for one is much cheaper!
• If you have a spouse … Even though you likely won’t be alone on Valentine’s Day, there’s no reason you shouldn’t spend some time working on the relationship you have with yourself. Try a peaceful walk in the park, fishing or spending a few hours with a great novel. If you have plans on Feb. 14, make some time for yourself Feb. 13. It can make date night on the next day all the more rewarding.
• If you’re divorced or recently heartbroken … As with a romance, you shouldn’t limit your focus on improving your relationship to just one day of the year. Take yourself out to somewhere that’s a treat; be spontaneous; think about your dreams and priorities — the ones that come from your passions, talents and skills. Most importantly, be loving on this “date.” Whether or not you’re eager to find another romantic partner, you’ll be in a better place to meet Mr. or Ms. Right if you’re confident in your feelings about you. Your past relationships do not define you, but they can make you stronger and wiser.
What are your plans for Valentine’s Day?
This post is a great reminder for everyone to stop taking being single so seriously and the fact that being alone is not always and definitely should never mean the same thing as being lonely.
Ultimately, whether we’re single or not, the most important relationship will always be the one we have with ourselves. I find this especially true in the second case, because many people tend to lose themselves and their personality exactly when they are in a relationship.
Besides, if you’re really capable of loving someone, the last thing you need is a commercial holiday to prove it.
Your Lighter Side says