Welcome to my anticipatory heck

But more on that soon.*

Time goes by too too fast.

I have been so busy, I never told you I launched an initiative! 100 recipes in 100 days.

100 Recipes in 100 Days

That’s right! On my very hip Examiner.com column I am sharing some kick-fanny recipes like those low-carb egg noodlies above– 100 recipahs (oh that’s right. I said 100) over the next three months, all aimed at making low-carbing fun, delicious and sustainable.

Oh yes I am. Snap! I’m working it. Oh yeah. Uh huh. Who’s yo Betty FlaxCracker now!

So far, I’m in 4 recipes, since I began this week and didn’t tell you (but I was thinking it!–what, you can’t read minds?! What the heck is your problem).

I have recipes, recipes, recipes to share, and most of them are gluten-free, all are low-carb, and they’re sexier than a pair of Manolo’s (oh no I di’unt).

So subscribe and be ready. They’re coming, and they’re going to also be pertinent to the holidays coming up. I admit I was a bit of a lamer for Rosh Hashannah. I am a shiksele and my father only raised me as a lukewarm Jew. He celebrated both Hanukkah and Christmas because the man loved giving presents (miss you dad!).

He had the lamest little Menorrah, too, but it was totally rad. It was carved from wood and it held birthday candles. He was a batchelor with a wood router, so what can you do, right? It’s the thought that counts.

Cook book giveaway this week
Because I can’t come and cook for you in your own home (you promised me a room, but you never told me it was with Aunt Edith, and man that woman breaks wind in her sleep like nobody’s business), stay tuned for a cook book giveaway this coming Thursday (my fave day of the week)!

Low-carb queen Jennifer Eloff blessed me with a dessert cook book (girl needs to send me a cake!), so I am going to give a very awesome reader one of them! Her dessert cook book is oh so prittay and will be reviewed this week, along with the announcement for the contestarooni.

The whole Pirate caption contest didn’t work quite as well as I’d hoped, but you know what? We’re all funny, hip, happening and trendy, so no more trying to prove ourselves in front of an audience. I’m removing that social pressure.

We’re just giving these bad boys away.

So what else, what else

I am finally getting over the whole ankle issues (I fell in a hole and sprained both at once on like the second day of school) and look forward to hitting the treadmill again. I hate sitting on my wide load all day long without the walking to look forward to,.

I know it sounds sick. “Oh my Goshes! Jamie likes to walk? She is so full of it!”

Let me tell you what, girlfriends and boyfriends, this honey likes to walk–when I’m watching tv! I am a born-again science fiction geekette, so I was just beginning to get into Scott Bakula and Enterprise when I was time-warped into ankle boots and bad shoes. Suffice it to say, I am walking tomorrow night, even if I’m in a wheelchair.

That’s right. I said wheelchair. Because just wait. Something is GOING to happen to me sometime before today and tomorrow night.

*Have I ever told you I’m a klutz?

I am a TOTAL anti-grace kind of girl. I have fallen off of my front porch. Twice. In one weekend. In front of the same neighbor.

I am SO not going into that story, but these things always happen to me. I’m the model you see on tv who falls into the hole or off of the stage. Only I’m not a model. They would never trust me with the clothes, even if I was thin enough to wear them. The other day I was sitting in the car putting hand lotion on my hands on my way to an appointment. The stuff was totally ‘being that way’, so I thwapped the bottle. SPLOOT! All over my new top was a huge pile of white stuff. It looked like I’d just given Dolly Madison a happy ending.

That is my luck. So stay tuned and find out what happens to me between today and tomorrow when I REALLY hope to be back on the treadmill ambling along at breakneck speed (well, like more than waddling speed).

And remember! cookbook giveaway and more recipes than you can shake a cauliflower breadstick at!

Thanks for your emails, by the way! I am still catching those up. I decided to clean the game closet today and now there are splayed bits of Milton Bradley carcasses all over my living areas. My husband is going to walk in the door and say, “So you’ve been cleaning again, hey? How’s that working out for you?”